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Last updated: November 19, 2025
We keep this short because nobody reads 20-page lawyer wallpaper.
You must be 13+ to use Goat Pen.
Don’t be a jerk, a criminal, or a spammer. No harassment, threats, doxxing, scams, or illegal content.
Treat people like you’re standing face-to-face with them.
Open Pens = civil and professional.
Want to go full send? Take it to Goat Pen Dark — but it is not private. Assume anything you post can be screenshotted/shared.
Your account = your responsibility. Keep your login secure.
You own your content.
By posting, you give Goat Pen a worldwide, non-exclusive, royalty-free license to host, store, format, reproduce, and display your content to operate and promote Goat Pen and to show it to other users as your settings allow.
If you opt in, we may also show your content in G-Force Listings / L•iN•X’d and similar directories.
We don’t sell your content to advertisers. We may share necessary data/content with service providers who run the site (hosting, payments, email, analytics, security) under contract.
We own Goat Pen stuff (logos, course videos, Phutzball rules, etc.). Don’t steal it.
Membership is $25.99/year (or the current price shown at checkout).
No refunds unless we screw up or the law requires it. (If we approve one, it may be prorated.)
If your plan auto-renews, you can cancel renewal through your account/settings before the renewal date.
Each membership level may have its own perks, limits, access rules, and conditions (“Tier Terms”).
Tier Terms can change at any time, for any reason, including pricing, benefits, access, and availability.
The current Tier Terms are whatever is posted on the site for that tier (including the membership description page and/or checkout) at the time they apply.
If you don’t like a change, your option is to cancel and not renew (no penalties).
Goat Pen–owned FanChises, sponsorships, partnerships, or similar deals are at-will unless a separate written agreement says otherwise. We can end them anytime; you can walk away anytime too.
We can remove content, limit features, suspend accounts, or shut down the Service at our discretion, consistent with applicable law. No whining.
The Service is provided “as is” and “as available.” Internet stuff breaks.
We’re not liable if the site goes down, your feelings get hurt, or you lose money because you trusted internet strangers.
If we’re found liable for anything, our total liability won’t exceed the amount you paid us in the last 12 months (or $100 if you paid nothing), to the fullest extent allowed by law.
If your content or behavior gets us sued, you agree to defend and indemnify us (including reasonable legal fees).
California law applies. Disputes go to courts in Sonoma County, CA, unless mandatory law says otherwise.
We can update these terms anytime. Keep using the site = you accept the new ones.
Questions? [email protected]
Goat Pen Media Lab, LLC — Santa Rosa, California
Welcome to the Pen. Play nice (or take it to the Dark—just don’t pretend it’s private).
Privacy Policy
Last updated: November 19, 2025
We hate creepy tracking as much as you do.
This policy is short on purpose.
1. What we actually collect
• Your name, email, and password when you join the Pen
• Shipping address only when you buy merch (tees, Phutzball kits, etc.) — immediately sent to our print-on-demand partner and then forgotten
• Payment details — handled 100 % by Stripe or PayPal (we never see or store full card numbers)
• Anything extra you voluntarily add to your profile (trade, location, skills, “open to sponsors,” etc.) — used only so other members can find you
• Completely anonymized page-view stats (no cookies, no personal identifiers)
• Standard server logs (IP, login time) for security and spam protection
2. What we do NOT collect
• No phone number (it’s not even a field at checkout)
• No birthday, marital status, SSN, or any of that garbage
• No advertising cookies, pixels, or retargeting
• We do not sell, rent, or share your data with anyone — ever
3. How we use it
• Let you log in, post, take courses, and use the Pens
• Ship your merch
• Send transactional emails only (order confirmations, password resets, etc.)
• Keep the site fast and secure
4. Who sees your data
• You
• Other logged-in Goat Pen members (only what you choose to show)
• Stripe/PayPal and our print-on-demand partner (for payments and shipping only)
• Nobody else
5. Your rights
• Edit or delete your profile anytime
• Request a full data export or total account deletion — just email [email protected]
• We’ll handle it same day or within 30 days max
6. Cookies & tracking
• Only essential cookies for login, cart, and basic function
• One tiny cookieless anonymized stats script
• YouTube videos, Google Fonts, and social share buttons only load after you click “Accept”
• We automatically respect Do Not Track and Global Privacy Control
7. Security
Full-site HTTPS, modern security headers, and Really Simple Security running 24/7. Nothing is 100 % unhackable, but we guard your data like it’s our own.
8. Kids
Goat Pen is 13+ only. We do not knowingly collect data from children under 13.
9. Heads up — G-Force Listings & G-Force L•iN•X’d (AI talent search)
Any info you put in the profile fields and share (trade, location, skills, headline, “open to work,” etc.) will be discoverable by:
• Verified employers and clients who pay for G-Force access
• Our internal AI crawler for the upcoming G-Force L•iN•X’d talent search
That’s the only place it ever goes.
We don’t sell it, don’t share it with recruiters, don’t feed it to third-party AI companies, don’t put it on job boards.
Leave everything blank or delete it anytime = you stay invisible to the outside world.
Fill it out = real people who pay real money can find you and hire you directly.
Bottom line: We’re not in the business of selling your data. Ever. If you fill out the G-Force fields (or agree to the new terms when our AI agent goes live), the only thing that happens is verified employers and clients who pay for G-Force access can find you — and our internal AI can match you to real jobs. That’s it. No recruiters, no job boards, no data brokers, no third-party AI companies. Leave it blank or delete it anytime and you stay 100 % invisible to the outside world. Your profile. Your choice. Your paycheck.
10. Questions?
Email us anytime: [email protected]
Goat Pen Media Lab, LLC — Santa Rosa, California
No 18-page lawyer wallpaper.
No hidden clauses.
Just the truth.
Welcome to the cleanest Pen on the internet.